The retirement years have come at last Oh they have crept up o n me.fast
Nasty pains I get in my head and neckYesterday in the mirror I saw a wreck
First aid won't help the pain in my heelWhen I go to church I cannot k eel
Long gone are my teeth I have no smileeI can't sit long because of piles
The hair I have left won't sit neat I have ingrown toenails on both my feet
I get pains when it rains in my varacous veins
My nose runs like Niagara Blue cross won't pay for viagara
Sometimes I'm highly sedated And sometimes I'm constipated
The doctor says I shouldnt drive Eggs and tomatoes give me a hive
My heart has a flutter so I can't eat butter
I can't eat my favorite nuts They lodge for days in my guts
French fries have toomuch greaseI can't eat duck I can't eat geese
I check for sodium potassium and total fat Dietary fiber sugar and stuff like that
Vitamins herbs all kinds of pills Are fighting g aĺ my lousy ills
I eat salads and tofu before I nap But who the he'll wants to eat that crab
I eat an o ion or garlic we must part Within a few minutes I will pass wind
Vicks for my nose drops for my eyesA Bottle of modicum guarantees. no surprise
My favorite cigar I can̈not smoke The nicotine might make me choke
No whoppers and definitely no MacThe fat might. cause a heart attack
Whisky wine and even Bud Mixed with my medicine are no good
I can't eat pork or roasted veal Bran and baby food thats5 a big meal
I can't eat bologna salami or ham And on my toast or bagel no butter or jam
The nutritionist says you must eat more fish But a cheeseburger with fries that's my wish
Because of chloresterol I can't eat red eatAnd I can't eat white bread only wheat
I hide in the closet and am discreet Whenever I'm hungry and want to cheat
I hardly eat and am losing weight I'm so tired im5 in bed by eight
Almost every night I'm in a dream Eating vanilla cherries and whipped cream
In the morning I don't want to get dressed So then my wife says you're depressed
She says she needs a vacation To get away from my hallucination
I thought my final years would be first class Not like hemorrhoids a pain in my ass,
The last two lines can be
Farse/Arse or Superior /Posterior
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