Me and the Apple Tree 12/01/17

Me and the Apple Tree© Tony Fallon12/01/17
There’s an apple tree in an orchard 
The memory of it has me tortured
From a high up branch, I’d fallen 
And my leg was badly swollen
At least to two times its normal size
At last, someone heard my mournful cries
My situation was quite grim
I was stuck there on a limb
I could not go up or down
I could not go around
I was betwixt and between
When you came on the scene
I figured my pants I’d have to tear
If I was again to go anywhere
I felt just like a guinea pig
Stuck up there on a twig
If I didn’t think of a solution fast
I would soon be bare-assed
Well Johnny Mulvanee
Came quickly with his JCB
With his goatee, he looked like Ming
Or a native of Beijing
And he yells at me
“What the F*** you doing up my apple tree”
He showed a little more restraint
When I said “I think I’m going to faint”
I said “my injuries are severe
Could you get me out of here?
As quickly as you can I beg
Or I’ll lose my F****** leg”
Well he gave up his nonchalance
And had a quick response
He handled this big machine
Like the captain of a submarine
In a minute he had the bucket in place
Right beside the other shoe and my shoelace
This was really great
I now could relieve some of the weight
That was causing all this strain
On my body and my brain
In answer to my plea
You went up the other side of the tree
Cut my pants leg to the knee
And suddenly I was free
I never will forget you there all muddy
And me there helpless and all bloody
You held my hand as we crossed the field
And you visited me often until I was healed
I still wake up at night in a sweat
That day on the tree I shall never forget
You can take me to the chapel
You can give me a bottle of Snapple
But you can never get me to eat an apple.

Winter Worries Nov 30 2017

Winter Worries ©Tony Fallon 113017

It’s just after Thanksgiving here in the cold Northeast

The family was here together it was a wonderful feast

Late November days are upon us nothing more will grow

All we have to look forward to is constant sleet and snow

Of course each winter night we’ll have ice and frost

No two other things account for so many workdays lost

You’ll have to invest in salt because I’m sure it’s feared

Someone might fall if you don’t keep the driveway cleared

The days are shorter they’ve already changed the clocks

And some of us are already wearing two pairs of socks

A wise investment for the winter is a pair of heavy boots

And for the skier's waterproof thermal winter suits

And just in case you should be isolated in a winter storm

Buy a few of the things in a bag that keep your fingers warm

But most important is a warm hat for your head

Because you lose the most body heat there, it is said.

I laugh at people who at the cold curse and swear

They should be like me get on the thermal underwear

A scarf for your neck and gloves to prevent chilblains

They keep the warm blood flowing through your veins

But the best advice you’ll hear straight from my mouth

Is next year in October pack up the car and start heading south

This is #30 for November Mission accomplished.

Advise,Sin & the Sally Rod (1121)

Advice sin and the sally rod © Tony Fallon 112117

If you took every bit of advice that was suggested
You probably never would have been arrested
Don’t do this and don’t do that and do not sin
If you paid attention you’d be in the loony bin

Parents were very strict you couldn’t break a rule
Teachers were tougher when you went to school
Read and spell subtract multiply and divide
And she used the sally rod if you ever lied

Between the priest and teacher, your head would spin
When they started to tell you the ugly ways of sin
At a mission, those wild priests would loudly yell
That everybody in our parish was headed straight for hell

The cruelty in schools should not have been tolerated
Rules and sally rods should have been confiscated
That this cruelty continued so long after the uprising
Is amazing and if alive they should be apologizing

I guess it didn’t hurt us our sins to confess
And the strictness kept some of us out of distress
But they say mistreated children never will forget
I never beat my children and I have no regret.

boyhood alarm

Boyhood Alarm© Tony Fallon 112817

I was in my uncle’s garden climbing up the apple tree

When the branch broke and I fell and cut my right knee

There were no bones broken but there was a lot of blood

So I must have looked a sorry sight sitting there in the mud

You said if it was broken I’d be treated like cattle and horses

I’d have to be shot after they’d brought in the armed forces  

I had never seen you before and despite being very pretty

Talking about having me shot I could see you lacked pity
I asked if you could go in and ask the woman known as granny

For soap and a towel but not mention it to my uncle Danny

You went in and said “there’s someone dying out in the yard

And if he doesn’t die soon, for life he definitely will be scarred”

You almost gave poor granny an instant heart attack

And she tripped over the sleeping dog trying to get out back

She banged her head on the closet you thought she was dying

So you abandoned us and ran to your mother crying

So now in our family, there were two people down

Who was going to help us my auntie had gone to town

Unbeknownst to me Uncle Danny had taken the jeep

And was over in the main farm checking on the sheep

So granny was unconscious and I didn’t want to walk

And you were crying so much you couldn’t even talk

Thank God your poor mother became a bit alarmed

And worried that her neighbors had been harmed

I don’t know what she thought when she found me

Sitting with a bloodied knee in the muck beneath the tree

But once she found my granny I was quickly ignored

And no one bothered with me until granny was restored

After the excitement, you did come out with a cup of tea

And sounded like you were worried about my wounded knee

Thank God my cut was not too deep and I wasn’t maimed

It did get infected and for a week or so it was a bit inflamed

But I did recover fully and it didn’t really affect my life

I never imagined when I was seven you’d one day be my wife.

It’s Nov 28. 28 down and 2 to go 

Thanksgiving Night

Thanksgiving Night © Tony Fallon 112817

The Thanksgiving feast was over and I sat beside the fire

You had given me a glass of whisky I felt like a squire

The house was as quiet as a mouse no one but us pair

Four hours before it was almost as busy as Times Square

Having everybody here this year lightened your workload

And we weren’t down in Yonkers looking at a big long road

An awful lot of turkey and trimming had quickly disappeared

And thanks to the grandchildren the table was finally cleared

And even you held your tongue and never once complained

When cranberries fell on the carpet and it was badly stained

With all the fun the family had the day will not be dismissed

And the love we have for each as they gathered in our midst

I’m sure you are as proud as I of the family we’ve created

And how we always stick together cannot be understated

The family sure keeps changing as we go from year to year

And all the memories formed today will never disappear.

Thanksgiving night Walmart (1126)

Thanksgiving © Tony Fallon 112617

Thanksgiving Day just went astray

And I went to visit Wallmart

I parked the car at the Irish Bar

And I got a small shopping cart

 Inside I took a seat full of turkey meat

It always makes me sleepy

I was full of food and not in a shopping mood

I wished I was home in my teepee

I saw lust in the eyes of big strong guys

Sometimes with big fat ladies

Heading for a tool or clothes for school

I bet they had a big Mercedes

I saw children scheming and other screaming

While other continued to roam

They continued pouting the father was shouting

One more word and we’re going home

Well I got tired of the show and counted my dough

And moved off with my trolley

I’m past buying toys for girls and boys

I was just looking for mistletoe and holly

I was really amazed as I longing gazed

At very updated computer

It had a CD Rom and an Email with com

It also had something called a router

But my heart was set on a ratchet set

That came with 3 sets of sockets

Oil resistant boots and mechanics suits

That came with a whole lot of pockets

Many times before when I went to a store

Especially on a big black Friday

There was many a fight after being on line all night

You might even get thrown down a stairway

You didn’t need to pull the shelves were all full

And the store had plenty of stock on pallets

To satisfy your need or satisfy your greed

And prices to match most customers wallets

Mistaken112617

Mistaken © Tony Fallon 112617

I met a man in the Supermarket and I said Hello

His response was a little biteeen slow

I told him who I was he said he didn’t know

I said since I owned the store that was a little weird

He said maybe it’s because of the hair and the beard

Did you ever think of getting both of them sheared?

What could I say to a man who was so very rude?

I could think of many words but they were rather crude

I guessed what he had for breakfast and was probably stewed

So the next time your shopping let this be a warning

Be careful to whom you say “the top of the morning”

Had it been a pretty girl she might have said I was flirtatious

But all the pretty girls I know would have been more gracious

Changes?

Changes? © Tony Fallon 112517

You said I’ll have to change

The ways and things that I do

My thoughts rearrange

Our relationship up for review

My changes must be very soon

There can be no delay

This surely is inopportune

And my thoughts are in disarray.

Maybe it’s you should be having a bloody exam

Maybe you need an overhaul

You’ll have to take me just as I am

Or you can’t have me at all

I cannot be what I aren’t

I can only be what I am

You’ll have to settle for the current

And I don’t give a damn

Day of the Poet

Day of the Poet © Tony Fallon 112417

Tomorrow morning early I have to get up and dressed

And then drive up to Colonie for a poetry contest

The day is run by a famous poet named Brian Dorn

Who will be at the Library since very early morn

To enter the competition there is no entry fee

And the winner goes home with the CapitaLand Trophy

The audience at least last year was very attentive

And for the readers, there is a cash prize incentive

The Library room will be set with the best of sound

And in the room we read in the champion will be crowned

There will also be an Open Mike for all the nominees

To get us all settled down to get us all at ease.

 When that segment is over the reading will begin

And everybody will try their best to go out there and win

There will be two rounds of reading before the cup is won

But if too many should apply there will be only one

I do not envy the judges as they go about their task

I hope I don’t see any of them drinking from a flask.

Limitations

Limitations © Tony Fallon 112317

Ochone, Ochone I’m sitting here crying
I’m supposed to write another poem and I’m trying
To write thirty poems means a lot of elbow grease
And I’d feel like a failure if the number should decrease

Last week I was four behind but now I’m down to two
But November is almost finished and December is in view.
I’m no good at all with deadlines and this is causing strain
I won’t do it in December I’m becoming quite profane

This is the kind of requirements that you can’t postpone
I don’t even have time to talk to my girlfriend on the phone
I’ll have to stop getting myself into stressful situations
And realize that at my age I have certain limitations

The Thanksgiving Diner.(2014)

...The Thanksgiving Diner from Hell.
Copyright by Tony Fallon March 21,2014.
Today I’ve come to this restaurant, I do not know its name,
I’m such a fussy eater, I don’t know why I came.
You’re such a pretty waitress, just like my granddaughter,
I’ll have a cup of tea later, but my guest is fond of water.
I have so many allergies, I sound like I’m always whining,
But I’m a fairly good tipper, if I enjoy Thanksgiving dining.
She’s conscious of her figure, I’m conscious of my weight,
So I don’t want fattening things, like butter on our plate.
And don’t think you’ll load me up, on white Italian bread,
I only want whole wheat, or nutty grainy stuff instead.
When you place my salad order you must be stressing,
That it is going back , if he uses any kind of dressing
Don’t put onions or beans in my soup I have a classy date,
And never serve me cabbage or garlic, they make me flatuate.
Don’t mention any beef dishes to me, that’s not tony fallonish,
Turkey and chicken are ok, and the swimming kinds of fish.
There’s one thing I won’t eat in a restaurant, I have to be frank,
Those orange colored things with claws, you keep in a tank.
For the main course, well cooked Turkey legs and thighs,
A good selection of vegetables, and plenty of home fries.
Baked are just as good, when it comes to the potatoes
But don’t make me sick, by bringing green fried tomatoes.
I don’t want any additives, and you’ll be held at fault,
If my stuffing and potatoes, are loaded up with salt.
Don’t mention mustards, peppers, spices or Indian curry,

And cook the turkey properly we are in no big hurry

For liquid no beer or wine, just a cup of Lipton tea,
 And I don’t want heavy cream, just a little milk, fat free.
But I have one weakness, you’ll find out before I depart
I may take two or three helping, from the dessert cart.
And when I’m paying up, I always check the final amount,
And since I’m over 70, I want a Senior Citizen’s Discount.

This poem is protected under the International Intellectual
property code and is 100% owned by the author named above.

You are permitted to SHARE but not COPY AND PASTE.

pecking order

Pecking order © Tony Fallon 112217

It’s Thanksgiving Day and you are expecting a crowd

Will you again be ridiculed will you be cowed?

One holiday a year you are the waiter and chef

And if you should ever ask for help everyone is deaf

From the moment they came did they just complain?

Did they treat you like you were a real birdbrain?

Do they all sit around and watch you sweating?

Does anybody help you with the table setting?

Are you the kind who is always smiling?

While inside your blood is really boiling

Are you afraid to stand up for your rights?

Because in the past it always led to fights

Are you afraid to stand up and maybe lose face?

So when nobody is looking you go to the hiding place

And sip the magic that should make you brave

But it does not make the other people behave

So now you go for a refill and you’re speaking jargon

And you are feeling great anxiety into the bargain

This family gathering is slowly heading towards disorder

And it’s all because in this family there’s a pecking order

You are the youngest and supposed to be a good sport

So if you stand up for yourself you will get no support

You have spent two whole days in the kitchen slaving

So you have to decide if this annual affair is worth saving

Joseph Stone

Joseph Stone © Tony Fallon 112217

Joseph Stone lived all alone

Never bothered nobody

Whittled goods out of woods

And they were not shoddy

Loved race horses and race courses

In Ohio and Kentucky

Wanted to be a jockey was too stocky

He felt so unlucky
Fought for Sam in Vietnam

And he almost drowned

Bullet hole outside Seoul

Left his mind unsound

Went off an zero came home a hero

Head of the big parade

But no work not even as a clerk

Joseph felt betrayed

No more to pawn he became withdrawn

Happy with his Mountain Dew

Sitting on a log talking to his dog

Drinking, drinking déjà vu

Alone he sang in mountain twang

Of women he’d have married

Dreaming scheming often screaming

From shrapnel that he carried

Victims of war are often poor

No chance to build a nest egg

A monthly check for a human wreck

Alone with his wooden leg

Left all alone in his twilight zone

A veteran treated rotten

A lonely grave for a man so brave

Joseph must not be forgotten

Annette The girl from Fuerty(102417)

Annette © Tony Fallon 102417
In my computer, I have many pictures in Google Chrome
They are pictures of Rahara where I once called home
Often when I look at them many tears are shed
Especially at night before I go to my bed
No matter how I fight it gloom quickly descends
When I look at pictures of my parents and friends
But there is one picture that causes great regret
That lovely girl from Fuerty by the name of Annette

She could sing like a lark and she had two dancing feet
When she danced jigs or reels she never missed a beat
Many nights in the 60’s we went dancing hand in hand
On the Racecourse road in Reynolds’s Fairyland
To be the one in her company I was so very proud
And I was the envy of many young men in the crowd
No matter how hard I try I never shall forget
That lovely girl from Fuerty by the name of Annette

We both got jobs in town when our education was complete
And we often spent our lunch hour walking on Main Street
It made her very sad that I was headed for Manhattan
We both loved languages and often spoke openly in Latin
When people heard us talking they thought we were praying
Of course, very few people had any idea what we were saying
We often sang of Ballymoe we were the perfect duet
We probably would have been big stars, Tony and Annette.

If you start out with nothing it’s hard to produce
There was no hope of a golden egg from any golden goose
Like much more before me I had to head for foreign parts
Now in America and Ireland, there were two broken hearts
I thought for sure I’d be headed for foreign wars
But I’d had far too many operations and too many scars
A few years later I returned but was really upset
For Fuerty was no longer the home of my darling Annette.

The Sky 112117

The sky © Tony Fallon 112117

I think of you every night when I look up in the sky

And wonder why you walked away this past July

I look to east and west until I find a superstar

I stare at it until it blinks which is quite bizarre

I think of you especially when the sky is overcast

I thought our love for each other would last and last

When I see the moon arising I think of your glance

And the year we spent together it was pure romance

 But a moon only last for thirty nights and is then reborn

I do not grieve for the old moon but for you, I mourn

I marvel at all the stars that are in the Milky Way

But just like you, my love they are so far away

There are many more stars than women in a sky chart

But you’d have to search forever to find a kinder heart

When a star shoots across the sky it never more will shine

Like the love you shared with me will never more be mine

By the Lake....(71417)

By the Lake © Tony Fallon71417

By yon lake, there lived a maid in Levi dungarees

And she had them cut off just below the knees

She had roses round the door of her spotless bungalow

She had a Scottish accent she grew up in Glasgow

Whenever she went walking she took her pocketbook

I don’t know what was in there I never got to look

I planned my walk each evening I thought she was groovy

Much prettier than any girl I had ever seen in any movie.

At first, I was very shy and said: “may I join in your trek?”

When she agreed I had to keep my excitement in check

Her dog was a tail wagger full of warmth and grace

If I bent down to pet him he’d lovingly lick my face

Conscious of my upbringing at first I was a little bit demure

And often used big words to sound a bit more mature

To be in her company any evening really was a treasure

We slowly walked the country lanes at a pace of leisure
She was prepared for anything with a walking stick umbrella

I silently prayed that I would rain so I’d be closer to Stella

When it came to nature around she had a great attitude

You could tell she loved being alive and was full of gratitude

I often wondered if I didn’t show up would she walk so far

Or would she just accept a ride from someone in a car

I know that if she was missing I’d probably fret and brood

And would not at all enjoy the unexpected solitude

In the six years I knew her we walked hundreds of miles

And the things that she told me gave me hundreds of smiles

In all those years she never walked out with any other fellas

And if she had walked out with them I would have been jealous

When I left for America her tears flowed like falling rain

And I was bawling like a baby myself as I took my seat in the train

To everybody in the village, we must have been an odd pair

The gangly teenager and the forty-year-old with grey ribs in her hair

I told my wife in America I was coming home for an old friends wake

I didn’t specify it was Stella, the blind girl, who lived by yon lake

Monday Blues

Monday Blues © Tony Fallon 111917.

Did you ever get up and while you were moping around in the shower

Wish to the good God above you could go back to sleep for an hour?

It always happens on a Monday when you are not in the best form

And you know when you get to work you will not be able to perform

That one last drink for the road was in no way your greatest idea

It would have been better to get some food in the local pizzeria

Always at work on a Monday there’s usually a very heavy workload

Your stomach is feeling very queasy and your head is about to explode

In your brain is there is no enthusiasm, in fact, you are no way inspired

The reason you won’t stay at home you know very well you’ll get fired

Every Monday you make the same promise and at the end of the year

That you will cut back on the booze and you never again will touch beer

You may think you are sinning and on Saturday you’ll line up to confess

The priest will forgive you and you are free once again to transgress

Here Goes 111817

Here Goes© Tony Fallon 111817

My pen is loaded my head is clear

I drank a cup of tea instead of beer

Actually, I’m sitting before my computer

But saying I had a pen sounds so much cuter

I would also say it probably gives the impression

That something good will come out of this session

Alas when I sat down I had nothing planned

Certainly nothing X rated that would be banned

There were no magic words or rhymes in my head

I wasn’t going to comment about something I’d read

I could tell about last night when I had no date

And three married women said I looked great

I had my long hair in a rubber band tied up nice

As I entered the Shamrock even Jennie looked twice

I had been at a funeral and was neatly dressed

And I could tell the women were really impressed

Next weekend I must go where there are singles

It would be exciting if they are all bilinguals.

So that’s all the information I have to convey

I wonder if this qualifies as my”Poem a Day”?

Winter in the Norteast......(2016)

Winter in the North East © by Tony Fallon.

I think I must be growing older

Every morning it feels much colder

It’s definitely colder than last year

Maybe not there but certainly here

My fingers are numb also my toes

So are my ears and my nose.

Next week we are promised a foot of snow

The sun is shining and it’s four below

The grandkids are happy they will be skiing

This is not normal weather for a human being

You have to have snow tires on your car

If you are going shopping or to an Irish bar

It doesn’t matter if you are poor or rich

If you hit black ice you wind up in a ditch

You always have to be on the lookout for deer

There are plenty around this time of year

I hate living where everybody is whining

I want to be in a place where the sun is shining

I don’t know about the Plains and Nebraska

I certainly don’t envy Susan up in Alaska

This is not the life I should be living

Next year I’ll be in Florida by Thanksgiving

Riley(1116)

Riley © Tony Fallon 111617

Riley was only eleven

When he went to doggie Heaven

The pride of Finbar’s life

His children and his wife

Fond of walking and the chase

Loving eyes loving face

Barks in happiness but never snarls

A typical Cavalier King Charles

To its owner no lack of devotion

Once outside no lack of motion

The dog that was always supporting

The master that he was escorting

“Man’s best friend” is not clichéd

Memories just will not fade

Memories will always be present

Memories will always be pleasant

The Streets of Birmingham.....(2017)

The Streets of Birmingham © Tony Fallon 2017.

The Streets of Birmingham © Tony Fallon 2017.


Before I met you that day I was as cold as ice
In twenty four hours I only ate one bowl of rice
Not only was my body cold but also my soul
I had given up any hope I would ever be whole
You gave me coffee and some bread,cheese and ham
On the cold and lonely streets of Birmingham

I knew at once you were from the Emerald Isle
The moment you spoke to me and I saw that smile
You told me you were going home on the boat
As from your purse you handed me a five pound note
You looked so lovely in your cape and gown
I was shocked when you mentioned your hometown
I was embarrassed humiliated and full of shame
And far too self conscious to ask your name
For that was the town where I spent my boyhood
Motherless and bitter and misunderstood
I used to paint scenery and I used to draw
That was not manly enough for my paw
I first visited Paris then went to Amsterdam
And was finally on the streets of Birmingham

I told you my name and you stood there awed
And you kept on repeating "Oh My God"
You said I was considered the cream of the crop
My pictures were sold in many a Tullamore shop
You said my father found dozens in a closet
And experts raved about the blended composite
You told me then your name was Bridget Cunningham
And I'd never sleep again on the streets of Birmingham

Well you bought me some new clothes and odds and ends
Then took me back to Ireland and shocked all our friends 
My father had put all the money in an account
I was surprised when he gave me the full amount
He said he had longed for the day I would arrive
And had prayed every night that I was still alive
I regretted the pain I had caused him as a child
And I am so glad that because of you we reconciled

I've again taken up my pencil brush and paint
And I thank the Lord for sending me a saint
We walk the streets of Tullamore with our baby and pram 
And I will never go back to the streets of Birmingham

Doggie Heaven 111517

Doggie Heaven © Tony Fallon 111517

When I get to heaven which is supposed to be in outer space

Will the favorite dog I ever had, be there to lick my face?

Will he want to go for a walk or for an evening run?

Or chase after a stick or ball and have a lot of fun?

Maybe after being gone so long he’ll have another master

I mustn’t think like that it would be a total disaster

I’m sure someone would come along someone who was clever

And I couldn’t blame the dog he couldn’t wait forever

Of course, there is the other possibility to be assumed

That the friendship of man and dog will not be resumed

And somewhere in a place like Norway or Sweden

The dogs and cats we once knew will have a Garden of Eden

The Girl from Athenry.....(10517)

The girl from Athenry © Tony fallon10517

I left a girl in Dublin in two thousand and three
I wonder if she’s still alive and if she thinks of me
She came from County Galway and the town of Athenry
As I said goodbye to her that day I tried hard not to cry
She said for my return she would forever sadly wait
She became hysterical as I walked through the gate

Well when I landed in America I got blinded by the stars
And I was quickly introduced to cheap booze in the Irish bars
I played soccer for years in The Cosmopolitan New York league
And at Christmas, I’d send a few dollars to my folks in Athleague
She mailed me many love letters always asking for a quick reply
But sure I was useless at writing letters to the girl from Athenry

After being here for six months or so I met an old girlfriend
There was some spark left still and I didn’t want to offend
I guess I burned the candle at both ends and finally got burned
The girl in Dublin would barely talk to me when I returned
When I came back to New York the one here said goodbye
Someone had seen me in Dublin with the girl from Atherny

I’m working in construction in New York without a wife
I tell everyone who’ll listen I enjoy the single life
I also say I don’t want to be tied down that I’d rather be free
But being single in New York isn’t all it’s cracked up to be
I never will forget the Galway girl and the day we said goodbye
I wonder if she’s still in Dublin or she went home to Athenry

So if you are ever in Dublin and you meet this Galway maid
Tell her you met the man she once loved who had strayed
Tell her that he knows he did her wrong and is full of regret
He would fly to her arms once more if she would just forget
He can’t forget her smile or her eyes as blue as an Irish sky
He’d go home in the morning to be with the girl from Athenry
>This is a copyrighted article for your reading pleasure only.<

Dirty Laundry© Tony Fallon 111317

Dirty Laundry© Tony Fallon 111317

If you have dirty laundry that has not be washed

Why post it on Facebook unless you are sloshed?

This is not a viewing place for any underwear

And ninety-nine percent here don’t even care

They may indeed be embarrassed by your rants

And even more embarrassed by your ugly chants

Next time you have a quarrel with family or friend

It is better to sit down and try some fences to mend

Than posting here on FB in a very agitated state

And telling all the world how much you hate and hate

This will not encourage others to ever be your friends

This could be the same way another friendship ends

A household of nine,,,,,(2015)

A household of nine.(C) Tony Fallon

How  can  a  household  of nine
 Live   at  the  poverty   line 

Baby   needs   some shoes

Father   wants a jug of booze     

Junior needs new school gear 

Mommy wants a pack of beer 

Jimmy needs sneakers and sweats

Grandma needs more cigarettes

 The teenagers   need   new togs

Someone   one   else wants hot dogs

In the fridge, there is no food,

Not even scraps to be stewed

Lack of food seems to incite

Thought of anger day and nigh
 The food closet is often bare

Time to ask for more welfare

Jane needs a new mini skirt 

 Plus go   to a rock   concert 

Paul bouncing a basketball

Off the kitchen floor and wall

Does not heed his fathers call

And causes anew family brawl 

Mom tells dad he doesn’t care

Dad grabs mommy by the hair

 Words  and  dishes  start  to  fly 

 Mommy gets a new black eye 

Oh my god   when   will this stop 

One   more   visit   from the cop

Mom  will not press charges 

While her swollen face enlarges

Dad can’t   take this anymore 

Therefore he storms out the door 

He is going   for   some   crack 

God knows when   he's coming   back 

This whole   scene is just   so   wrong 

How can these kids grow up strong?

The mood   there is always   chill 

 Someone should have bought the  pill

I'm the Key man

I’m the Keyman © Tony Fallon Dec 2016.

I got a call from Home Depot at half past three

Wanting to know if I had a blank Corbin key

It had a zero or an O which it was he didn’t know

I told him that if it was a Corbin it had to be an O

He asked me if I had three or four in stock

I said “yes but I would be closing at five o’clock”

With all this information he seemed a little shocked

That I had the key and my store would soon be locked

Well he said I’ll not delay her I’ll send her on her way

She’ll be there tomorrow if she doesn’t make it today.

Well who should appear later only Alicia Kristoferson

The blanks I had were not exact so I only made her one

It was properly lined but not properly grooved

And once you make the cut it cannot be improved

We chatted for a while we seemed to have great rapport

And she said if the key worked she’d come back for more

I know very well with my keys you can lock your door.

The best keys in Greene County are made in my store

She called and said it locks the front door and she feels secure

She’ll come back to my store for more copies I’m pretty sure.

A bad romance (1111)

A bad romance © Tony Fallon 111117

I once knew a girl who was in love with a man
She was also in love with his money
I remember very well when the romance began
She used to call him her honey

She complimented him often his praises she’d sing
While they were just out courting
The situation soon changed once she had the ring
And they were no longer consorting

A man knows very quickly maybe the first night
If he wound up marrying a fake
If she is arrogant and not very polite
He knows he’s made a mistake

If the hotel room has two single beds
And it was she who made the reservation
How could this be the room for two newlyweds?
It was time for some sort of investigation

Well he called her a fake and he called her a phony
And he questioned her love and desire
Had she sold her heart and soul for alimony
Instead of a true love, she was just a liar

He then realized he’d been taken for a fool
His money was spent he was very frustrated
This lassie was just crafty and cruel
Thank God this union was not consummated.

Well he stood half-dressed gone pale and pallid
Thinking I don’t think she’s legally my spouse
I don’t think our marriage is valid
And she never got to move into his house

When I die (1111)

When I die © Tony Fallon 111117

Whether I die in May or December

Our days together I will always remember

Your picture will be the last one I will see

I hope that you will also be thinking of me

When I get to heaven I’ll stay at the gate

For your arrival, I will patiently wait

If you should go first can I assume?

That you’ll wait too if you don’t have a groom

If you do come alone I will be so pleased

And my hell on earth will be finally erased

I want to be with you until the end of time

As we sit together and talk and write in rhyme

I’m sure in heaven they have the karaoke

We can line dance and do the hokey pokey

Even if you do bring a permanent mate

We could still engage in intelligent debate

We could also embrace without any sinning

There’s been no sin in heaven since the beginning

That’s of course if you don’t consider Lucifer’s pride

And he very quickly found himself outside

I hope that heaven is a commune

Where all could hang out in the light of the moon

And since be both like risky activity

And we're never in favor of captivity

It would be so exciting if we can visit hell

And reminisce with sinners we knew so well

I’m sure they will all greet us with a smile

They’ll be glad to get out of the heat for a while

These thoughts of eternity are so inspiring

I think I’m looking forward to finally expiring