The Thanksgiving Diner.(2014)

...The Thanksgiving Diner from Hell.
Copyright by Tony Fallon March 21,2014.
Today I’ve come to this restaurant, I do not know its name,
I’m such a fussy eater, I don’t know why I came.
You’re such a pretty waitress, just like my granddaughter,
I’ll have a cup of tea later, but my guest is fond of water.
I have so many allergies, I sound like I’m always whining,
But I’m a fairly good tipper, if I enjoy Thanksgiving dining.
She’s conscious of her figure, I’m conscious of my weight,
So I don’t want fattening things, like butter on our plate.
And don’t think you’ll load me up, on white Italian bread,
I only want whole wheat, or nutty grainy stuff instead.
When you place my salad order you must be stressing,
That it is going back , if he uses any kind of dressing
Don’t put onions or beans in my soup I have a classy date,
And never serve me cabbage or garlic, they make me flatuate.
Don’t mention any beef dishes to me, that’s not tony fallonish,
Turkey and chicken are ok, and the swimming kinds of fish.
There’s one thing I won’t eat in a restaurant, I have to be frank,
Those orange colored things with claws, you keep in a tank.
For the main course, well cooked Turkey legs and thighs,
A good selection of vegetables, and plenty of home fries.
Baked are just as good, when it comes to the potatoes
But don’t make me sick, by bringing green fried tomatoes.
I don’t want any additives, and you’ll be held at fault,
If my stuffing and potatoes, are loaded up with salt.
Don’t mention mustards, peppers, spices or Indian curry,

And cook the turkey properly we are in no big hurry

For liquid no beer or wine, just a cup of Lipton tea,
 And I don’t want heavy cream, just a little milk, fat free.
But I have one weakness, you’ll find out before I depart
I may take two or three helping, from the dessert cart.
And when I’m paying up, I always check the final amount,
And since I’m over 70, I want a Senior Citizen’s Discount.

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