Used Books© Tony Fallon 092918

Used Books© Tony Fallon 092918

When I go to garage sales I look for a few good used books
Funny ones I will often buy but crime and murder mainly
Ones about the crimes committed by serialists or kooks
But I do not like the murderers that kill inhumanely

Often murderers stay on the loose and are so elusive
And then when they are caught they say their parents were abusive
They often are loners and live a life that is reclusive
Whether they are the sane or not is often inconclusive

When victims realize their fate those minutes must be terror
The victim is not related just wildly picked at random
And must have prayed fervently to her God to somehow spare her
Many times it's a pattern people killed nightly in tandem

Some allege their devilish work has been sanctioned by their God
Trying to bring them to justice is the top notch murder squad
Often times the investigation is impaired and slipshod
And so called expert witnesses are more often just a fraud

From some of the used bargain books I get some unique insights
About the often strange workings of those with murderers minds
But while I'm reading those scary books on long cold winter nights
I check the locks on all of my windows and pull down the blinds

Winter is Coming ©TonyFallon092716

Winter is Coming ©TonyFallon092716

Winter is coming did you weatherproof,

Did you fix the windows and the roof?

Did you put weatherstrip around the door

Did you check for cracks in the bathroom floor?

For cold air in the corner, you should be feeling

And see if the wall has any cracks by the ceiling.

Put cans of foam between the floor and foundation

And in the attic many bags of pink insulation

Make sure there are no leaks by the boiler

A burst pipe at Christmas would be a real spoiler.

Later when it’s cold you don’t want to be scared

So the drip, drip in the bathroom should be repaired.

The house is in order how about you who pay the bills

Have you insulated yourself from winter ills?

When you go to the drug store is your stomach in a knot

Are you scared shit to get your flu shot?

For stomach infections, you’ll need Pepto of course

And bags of losenger’s for when you are hoarse.

Stock up on the aspirin for pains and aches

Keep a shovel inside for the big snowflakes.

Also, have a bag of calcium or a bag of salt.

For when there its thirty inches on your asphalt.

For medicinal purposes a bottle of brandy

Mix with water and sugar and call it a shandy.

After a glass or two of that, you consume

You won’t have any sadness or worry or gloom

092718 I Remember ©TonyFallon

092718   I Remember ©TonyFallon

I remember very well the day we said our last goodbye
The sun was shining brightly there was not a cloud nearby
I stayed there at Shannon until the plane was lost in the sky

I never moved a muscle I was glued to that one spot
It felt like a lifetime before your plane became a dot
As I prayed for your safety on the rosary beads you bought

I was only home two hours in Kenmare when the telephone rang

And together The Green hills of Kerry on the telephone we sang

And singing in the background were the whole Bronx Kerry gang

I loved the postcards you mailed which you specially selected
And the loves notes from far away made me feel connected
That you had another  man in your life I never  suspected

And then the letter came saying you were going to marry
And had no intention of coming home to my little dairy
And never more would we see you in the hills of Cork or Kerry

You said it wouldn't be proper for us to correspond anymore
And that you and your new husband were moving to the Jersey shore
And investing both of your savings into a big ice cream store

I never even went to America for a week end that is my one regret

But I cannot leave the cows un milked they are my major asset

And if anything should happen to the dairy I’d be in major debt

I never thought that afternoon we were sharing a last embrace
I never thought that overseas you'd disappear without a trace
And that you would never return once more to this lovely place

Nice to be nice © Tony Fallon.092716

Nice to be nice © Tony Fallon.092716

It’s nice to be nice,
Whether you do it once or twice
It’s even better if you do it without expecting praise
So take out the garbage on other people’s days.
When you do nice things don’t keep score
That way other people will help when you are sore
So there’s the advantage of not keeping track
There will always be someone protecting your back.
Being the first to give is just being smart
Then others will fall in line and do their part
You’ll feel more human alive and fresher
And it might even reduce your blood pressure

To Change or Not©Tony Fallon092518

To Change or Not©Tony Fallon092518

If I could change places today whom would I choose
Would it be Donald Trump or Mr. Howard Hughes?
Would it be Michael Jackson or Elvis Presley?
Would it be Martin Luther King or John Wesley

Or Columbus who did not know where he had been
And did it all on money borrowed from a queen
How about Red Adair who I greatly admire
He's the man who could put out a big oil field fire

Would I want to be Neil Armstrong flying through space?
And be the first on the moon from the human race
Then I must surely consider the great George Washington
But then the winter in Valley Forge was no fun

I don't want to be a president who sends young men to fight
Then when the body bags start arriving I couldn't sleep at night
I wouldn't want to be a politician most are not sincere
All they are interested in is prolonging their career

Would I want to be a king and live in a palace?
Or be Ralph Kramden with a lovely wife named Alice
How about when Robert Wagner was out in Hollywood
You think how lucky he was to have Natalie Wood

Or how about John Wayne riding horses on his spread
Or in the Quiet Man having Maureen O'Hara in his bed
What a trilling life it must have been for Sinbad the sailor
But then think of Richard Burton with Elizabeth Taylor

I don't know if I want to change I'm happy with my lot
But I'd like to interview Lester Piggott at Ascot
I'd like to ask Jim Kelly what were his future goals
After he was the losing quarter back in four Super bowls

I'd like to have five undivided minutes with the great Babe Ruth
And ask how many homers he'd have hit if he was off vermouth
I like to talk to the greatest hitter which of course is Pete Rose
And I'd ask him to list the best players whether friends or foes

If God came down tomorrow and told me I had to make a pick
I think it would be Gerry Lewis who was so good at slapstick
Or maybe Raftri an File the great Irish poet who was blind
Who did not let this affect him and had a brilliant mind

My Willows©Tony Fallon092518

My Willows©Tony Fallon092518

It was almost eleven at night and I was moping around
Jimmy called from upstate saying "your willow tree is on the ground"
He said do not be very anxious and do not be too alarmed 
It only fell on part of the garage but I don't think it's harmed
It did not touch any electric wires for that you can give thanks
If it had fallen the other way it would have ruined the tanks
Jimmy finished the conversation he was not a man for speech
And I was a hundred and fifty miles away out in Long Beach
Next day on the Taconic I skidded on a bit of black ice
And put a few nasty dings on my new four wheel driving device
And to make it a little poetic I smacked into a tree
But then it was not a weeping willow as far as I could see 
The next three days in the Catskills I acted like a lumberjack
Cutting the old tree into short logs and putting them in a stack
If you leave a willow branch on the ground It'll continue to grow
And the next year you will have a lot of new branches in a row
After all the excitement I had few days of recovery
While reading about the willow I made a great discovery
Though research or maybe pure dumb luck they have a new willow group
I'm not sure if it weeps anytime but it certainly doesn't droop
It's one tree growing upward not two that eventually splits
I swear it is now growing ten feet a year it just never quits
They really are bushes and as a plant are really neat
I transplanted some eight years ago and now they are fifty feet
You can cut off a few branches in spring they can be large or scant
Just stick it in some damp ground and by fall you have a fine strong plant
I give many cuttings in the Catskill to many more adults
There's no easier way to get shelter and they love the results

The ugly Message ©Tony Fallon 092418

The ugly Message ©Tony Fallon 092418

I went on Face book a week ago and one message there was stark 
If I did not like this chap my future was looking very dark
I must copy and paste his urgent message at once on my page
And if I did not follow instructions God would be in a rage
I treated the message with skepticism and I do not do shares
I went outside and tripped over a black cat and fell down the stairs
There were five magpies looking at me so I would soon be deceased
I called the wife to see if I could get a visit from the priest
When she saw me there unable to move at the foot of the stairs
She got the holy water and beads and started saying prayers
Well thanks to the man above himself I was only black and blue
No bones were broken and four days later I was a good as new.
Recall the many witches of Salem who died on fiery pyres
If I find the messenger I'll pull his toe nails out with pliers.

Tennessee Blackout © TonyFallon 092318

Tennessee Blackout © TonyFallon 092318

When they said the lights went out in Georgia

They were off by at least one degree

The lights did not go out in Georgia

They went out in Tennessee

Tennessee Valley Authority blew out the generator

Sent shock waves through the valley and the plains

Leaving folks without air condition or a refrigerator

Such inconveniences as one expects with hurricanes

They had a big concert on that night in Nashville

The guest of honor was our own Big Tom

The amplification  overloaded the grid to Clarksville

There was an explosion they all thought it was a bomb

In Tennessee that night there was not much singing

Except for those gathered round a homely fire

Even Elvis and his hips were not out there swinging

You can check that out with Reba McEntyre

They say Vicki Lawrence made up that Georgia tale

To get away from Carol Burnett’s crazy crew

I think she’s the one who should have gone to jail

She was tired of Tim Conway’s elephant in the Zoo.

A Poem© Tony Fallon 092218.

A Poem© Tony Fallon 092218.

A Poem is a short story
But sometimes it is long
The story may be gory
Or maybe right or wrong

The poet may not be attuned
To other peoples moods
Or may feel marooned
When he winds up in feuds

And so puts down on paper
His raw or simple facts
His details of the caper
And often he attacks

Humans can be sordid
And go slinging mud
And if not rewarded 
They may go for blood 

Next day they are ridiculed
By both friend and foe
But their anger has cooled
And they are lying low

Family Strife©Tony Fallon2015

On a few occasions I’ve tried this

Rhyme but 7, 6 or 5 syllables.

In this every line is 7.

Family Strife©Tony Fallon2015

It's hard to take care of nine,
Right at the poverty line
Baby needs a pair of shoes
Father needs a jug of booze
Junior needs some new school gear 
Mommy wants a pack of beer 
Jimmy wants sneakers and sweats
Mom and daddy cigarettes
The teenager wants new togs 
Someone one else wants hot dogs 
Paul wanting a basketball
Causes new family brawl 
Words and dishes start to fly 
Mommy has a new black eye 
Oh my God when will this stop 
One more visit from the cop 
Dad can't take this anymore 
Therefore he storms out the door 
He is going for some crack 
God knows when he's coming back 
The mood there is always chill 
Someone should have bought the pill

Noeleen Ni Chulla © Tony Fallon 091717

Noeleen Ni Chulla © Tony Fallon 091717

I met a girl from Donegal a real Irish Colleen
She can speak to you in Gaelic her name is Noeleen
But speaking Gaelic is not her reason for fame
It's her musical ability which has brought her acclaim
She plays Irish music with passion and without conceit
To hear her perform here in America really is a treat
Within each Irish psyche there is a need that is generic
To hear our wild native music and words those are poetic
The Sean Nos singer sings in deliberate measure
Telling the world a story in delight and pleasure 
Many of her songs are so old they cannot be dated
Still can be loved by all without being translated
You can hear the crashing wild Atlantic waves
Or the keening of relatives beside an open grave
You can hear the mournful lonely curlews cry
Or think you hear the lark in the clear blue sky
Sad songs of war and emigration or unreturned love
Or men who wouldn't go to the alter without a little shove
Not everyone who passes through adds to our tradition
But Noeleen by writing originals is achieving her mission

Looking for a Husband©Tony Fallon091918

Looking for a Husband©Tony Fallon091918

I'm in the market for a husband said the lovely lonesome lass
But before I will marry anyone there are tests he must pass
First is he single or can I see his separation report
If he is accused of bigamy I too might wind up in court
What I'm truly looking for is possibly a sugar daddy
He can be an English gentleman or even a Scots Laddie
I want him to be young enough that he will often misbehave
And not be so old and senile that he is ready for the grave
I like to find a man who is as rich as a Rockefeller
And does not get upset if I use the Automatic Teller
I'd like a man to be home around five for a fine glass of wine
And then I would dress in an evening gown and we'd go out to dine
I want the kind of gentleman who will marry me for my looks
And not expect me to be making meals from any cooking books
I will not be talked into drudgery no matter how he begs
The most he can expect any morning is maybe two boiled eggs
I want him to be my lover yet be an understanding pal
And I will make him very proud he has chosen me as his gal
I like to have a condo with a view and lots of closet space
With an address on fifth avenue New York or maybe Park Place
When it comes to an automobile a Porsche would be my first choice
But I'd settle for a convertible or a brand new Rolls Royce
I would like to be in the Hamptons for our summer vacations
And in winter attend fund raisers for many poor foundations
We'd be going to film festivals each February in Cannes
And going to Florida each year for our out of season tans
The only proposal I've had was from Mike in Real Estate
Although he is hardworking and honest his prospects are not great
With Mike it would be a thirty five year mortgage way out in Queens
And there would not be any eating out and often rice and beans
I would be giving up a lot if I abandoned my wild dream
The differences between those two lifestyles are very extreme.

We all would love to go back once more

We all would love to go back once more
To our old home with the open door
A sign of welcome with no bell or lock
All you had to do was say ‘hello ‘or knock
You know very well that after being greeted
At the kitchen table, you’d be seated
With a big cup of tea and bread and jam
And all kinds of apologies for the lack of ham
That’s one more dream I will never fulfill
They tore down the house at the foot of the hill.

Do You © Tony Fallon 091816

.

Do You © Tony Fallon 091816

Do you have some unneeded stress in your life?
Because of nastiness of your husband or wife
At the job is there always some confusion?
With backbiting, criticism, and exclusion
Is somebody suffering some health affliction?
Are your children in the grips of drug addiction?
In your days and nights is there not much enjoyment?
Are you or somebody else on unemployment?
Inside the house is there a secret boozer?
Is jealousy the tool of the accuser?
Is somebody straying from the marriage bed?
Is somebody gambling the family bread?
You must go for family evaluation
You can not exclude even one relation
Nobody at all should be allowed to digress
All must commit to reducing family stress

Magic ©TonyFallon091818

Magic ©TonyFallon091818

I am supposed to write a decent sized poem about magic
But there is only one English word that rhymes and that is tragic
Not only is it tragic but it's tragic which is repeating
And if I say it one more time we might have auto deleting
So when it comes to magic I shall have to take another path
Or bring down upon my poor old head Angie McDonagh's Irish wrath
So maybe I should talk of those people who do magic tricks with cards
And are often chased for their three card tricks by the local Irish Guards
Or those who from handkerchiefs pull a rabbit or a pair of doves
And they always seem to be taking off or putting on white gloves
Marvin the magician drove down O'Connell Street with a blind fold
The Dublin doubters said the car had to be remotely controlled
I have often seen a woman halved without the slightest complaint
While in the audience there's concern and grown men and women faint
I'm sure that woman is hale and hearty and laughing in her old age
That we believed she was being cut in half with no blood on the stage
I also admit I've seen things that must have been magic in my lifespan
In the five generations there have been some great people in our clan
I never thought I'd live to see my grandparents again or my grand kid
That night so long ago when the motorbike went into that awful skid
Meanwhile I have at least four magic card tricks few people understand
There's no trickery involved and I guarantee there is no sleight of hand
When I do those tricks for an audience the ending is dramatic
But I don't allow any betting so it is always democratic.
I say that most magicians are well trained in their practice to deceive
I do not think there is anything wrong with a little make-believe

Aiden O’Connor ©TonyFallon 091618

Aiden O’Connor ©TonyFallon 091618

If Trump is pepper Aiden O’Connor must be salt
New York is in a mess but that’s not Aiden’s fault
With the average problems Cuomo doesn’t bother
The only bridges he is building are named after his father
They say your friends you pick with bad politicians you are stuck
I’m sure everybody gathered here wishes Aiden lots of luck.

I think when you’re elected you should wade in for attention
And light a fire under those who are waiting for a pension
Don’t let those old fogies treat you with any kind of distain
You’ve got to win the bread and butter if you want to run again
You can make New York Great again from where you’ll be located
And I can’t see a man with Kerry blood in him being intimidated

We are stuck with Cuomo unless he plans on changing residence
Maybe he thinks he can become one of America’s great presidents
In the case that should happen we must be willing able and ready
To promote an Irish man who will lead us with a hand that’s steady
I don’t think we Irish would be overreaching and it would be an honor
To look once more to Albany with pride with a Governor named O’Connor

Three Years ©TonyFallon091518

Three Years ©TonyFallon091518

It often seems like a lifetime 
But it's only been three years
Our meeting was so sublime
Now memories are souvenirs

We both knew you'd be leaving
When your work here was done
So there was no deceiving
Yet our hearts beat as one

You were so alluring
And we both knew
Love should not be maturing
Yet unnoticed our love grew

Though hills and vales divide
You I shall never forget
Your memory has not died
You are my favorite brunette

David Wright © Tony Fallon091418

David Wright © Tony Fallon091418

There's sadness in METs land in Queens a deep sadness tonight 
For after September there will be no more David Wright
For three long years from injuries his actions were restricted
Many surgeries did not help make him any less afflicted

He must be suffering awfully he looks so much thinner
But he's doing it like he always did going out a winner
In forty years at least fifty men were tried out at third base
And not even one of them could compare with David's skill and grace

He played third like a vacuum and his homers went so far
He never won the World Series but he was often an All Star
He has two little daughters who have never seen him play
They will as he finishes what he started years ago at Shea
No more we'll see David Wright roam around third base at Citi Field
But he will walk off his head held high and not have to be wheeled

Love or Misery © TonyFallon091318

Love or Misery © TonyFallon091318

If you have one true life partner that's all you need
To take you both happily through life's long journey
To be trawling for others on face book is greed
And may lead to you both needing an attorney

I have known many who need to have their pants off
And go into motion with their apparatus
Feeding ravenously like they are at a trough
Regardless of their current marital status

This was a great adventure into the unknown
A nice way to spice up boring days of leisure
Then when it's discovered they can loudly bemoan
It would have been cheaper to pay for their pleasure

WGXC by Tony Fallon. Tony Fallon. 101715

WGXC  by Tony Fallon. Tony Fallon.   101715

 Are you in love, in love like me?                 

With radio station wgxc

We can’t survive like bees on honey,              

Every six months we need more money          

This drive will go on for many more days,

Or until 15 thousand dollars we finally raise.

Oh yes oh yes we need more dough

Call six nine seven, seven four oh, oh.

When you have a studio you must pay rent

You can’t run a radio station out of a tent.

Air conditioning and heat eat up donations,

At both the Hudson and Acra locations

And whether you like Irish, country or rap

Some part of our money goes as fees to ASCAP

So you can see why we need more dough

Call six nine seven, seven four oh, oh

Everybody volunteering keeps expenses down,

We are the most resourceful station in this town.      

 Hosts come in weekly to do their shows,

In summer heat, and in winter snows.

And for an hour or two hold down the fort,

So won’t you call up and give them support

Oh yes oh yes we need more dough

Call six nine seven, seven four oh, oh.

      

 We’ll give you tee shirts or we’ll give you totes,

If you’ll give us two or three ten dollar notes.

For our dilemma there is the only one solution        

A tax deductible contribution.

To make donating not so hard

Just give us the number of your visa card

 Oh yes oh yes we need your dough,

Call six nine seven seven four oh oh.

If we don’t get enough we are out on a ledge

Please, please won’t you call and make a pledge

And tell all your neighbors and your friends.

To listen every day till the pledge drive ends.

When the final total goes over the top,

The constant pleading will finally stop.

So you see it is important that we get your dough,    

 Please call six nine seven, seven four oh, oh.

518 697-7400