If you’re up in East Durham ,
and want to play twenty-five,
You’d better pray to God for guidance, before you arrive.
It’s played two nights a week, in the old Weldon house,
And it doesn’t matter how you play, someone will grouse.
The rules are very strict, but they change from night to
night,
And you could get out voted, whether you’re wrong or right.
But there is one unbroken rule; here I’ll give you tips,
No one but Pat Logue is in charge of coffee, cards and
chips.
If ten arrive you get a partner, by the deal of ace or jack,
And no matter how bad he plays, you cannot send him back.
Before you start to shuffle, you must check there’s
fifty-two
Cause John Keenan holds onto his cards, no matter what you
do.
If you don’t give three and two to all someone will appeal
And you must shuffle have them cut again and then redeal
If you have the Ace and do not rob you’ll be quickly told,
To throw your cards in cause you’re going to have to fold.
And you should always count the card in case you have six,
If they find out you have that many you’re getting no
tricks.
The first one up must follow rules, if he has the 5 to
haver,
Your Jack or ace of
hearts is gone, if you don’t have a saver.
Tom or Frank will
send a wee one out, for the very next trick,
And if you should hit Martin Forde, you’re “a no good Mick”
If you hit a man who is just 5 or 10, it really isn’t fair,
But never sent the Jack or ace of hearts, into a man from
Clare.
If you don’t play them right, and let a man go twenty,
You can bet you’ll immediately hear, nasty words a plenty.
Some nights you toil with bad cards, oh what is the use?
When you get two black tens, and one lousy red deuce.
And then the very next hand, you are really in the dumps,
You are dealt five strong diamonds, but hearts are trumps.
And should you chance to rob, the cruelest fate you’ll face,
There are three guys out there, waiting to whack your ace.
Sometimes you get five trumps, and expect at least a trick,
When the hand is played you’ve got nothing, and feel really
sick.
What can be as frustrating, as when you have an only king
And the guy past you robbed, so you can’t do a thing.
And where you sit is important, because of who you are
between,
Could mean life or death for the eight, or worse still the
Queen.
And then there’s Mr. Downey, of the silver tongue and mane,
Who hit you hard the last time, and will hit you once again.
But when it comes to nasty words, when all else is told
It’s worst to hear Tom wish, that your hand you should fold.
Most sane people watch TV at night, and think they are
smarter,
But where else could you be so entertained, for one lousy
quarter.
And what can compare, when in the last game, two tricks you
lack,
You see the first three lousy cards, then there’s the five
and jack.
So if you are in East Durham ,
and you have nothing better to do,
Stop in to the Weldon House for one game of 25 or maybe
two.
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