Warnings © Tony Fallon72717

Warnings © Tony Fallon72717

If you shake too many hands you can get sick

If you walk more than a mile you should use a stick

If you cycle be very careful of mountain trips

You could fall on your ass and hurt your hips

In the winter if you should be inclined to ski

When you are coming down watch out for a tree

If you swim you should do it in the lakes in parks

Because in the ocean they sometimes have sharks

If there was an island on a lake that you want to explore

I’d definitely rent a boat with a motor and not an oar

Even tanning in your yard you could be caught unaware

Walking though your property there might be a bear

And of course if you should decide to use the swing

A wasp might just come by and give you a sting

If you take a drink or two you must know when to stop

For if you are driving you could be suspended by a cop

I never would have the courage to go camping in a tent

I’d rather go to the motel and pay the rent.

Everything a person wants to do outside has warnings

That why I’m still at home in my bed late in the mornings

Two-way memories© Tony Fallon feb 9,17

Two-way memories© Tony Fallon feb 9,17
The timeline for this poem is the early 50’s

Memories are the ties that bind
The emigrant to the home he left behind
You remember the sunshine and not the rain
You remember the first time you saw a train
You talk very fondly of the old school 
Where you were beaten with a wooden rule
The church where you heard scary sermons
About the devil or invading Germans
Remembering your first ride in a motor car
Being told Jamesie Murray was a superstar
A real hero of Ireland’s Gaelic football game
A man so humble you could use his first name
Less and less you think of all the muck and mire
Cutting and saving turf to get a decent winter fire
You only remember the lark in the sky in the bog
You remember the first rabbit you caught with a dog
All the excitement of hearing a cuckoo
The smell from the kitchen of Irish stew
That’s not the only odor stuck in your head
I bet you still remember the fresh baked bread
So much smoke in the kitchen you’d need a fan
When the bacon started burning on the pan
After a long day of work you’d be ready to fall
But you’d still find the energy to play football
After five or six neighbors started to arrive
Your father might take out the cards for twenty-five
The young ones might suggest a few games of rings
Or play a game of checkers with only six kings
Later your mother would say it’s time to say a prayer
And you’d fall asleep with your head on the chair
You remember the one for whom you pined
Your first big crush that you so easily left behind 
You told me it was almost like a little holiday 
And you would never dream of living in the USA
But soon the money came to you in a weekly check
And about us here in Ireland you didn’t give a feck
You started to like the wine the women and the beer
You did not come to marry in the springtime of the year.
But we who stay at home have memories too
And the memories that I have are memories of you
If you were to show up some day even without warning
I’d forgive you everything and marry you in the morning

The small fat man © Tony Fallon.020217

The small fat man © Tony Fallon.020217

I have not been keeping up with my daily plan

My ever longing wish to be a better man

First was my plan to give up or reduce

What is sometimes referred to as “the juice”

I could give it up anytime I choose

My wife says I can’t I’m addicted to booze

The doctor insists I give up cigarettes

And he backs that up with all kinds of threats

If the doctors and nurses can’t give up the smokes

It’s a lot to be expecting from us plain folks

The ashtrays outside hospitals are full of butts

They are hooked to them like cops are to doughnuts

He told me my weight was getting out of hand

If I was a foot taller my weight would he grand

I asked him if it was ok if I got a stationery bike

He would rather if I went to the mountain to hike

I said I’d be terrified that I’d meet up with a bear

He said I had a better chance of meeting Fred Astair

The next thing he started to talk about was my diet

Which I was going to have to start on that very night

He laid down the rules and I’ll have to be brief

It was bran cereal for breakfast and for supper no beef

But he was only starting and it got much more severe

In any twenty four hour period only one can of beer.

All the foods and seasoning I love came under assault

When I came home I threw out all the sugar and salt

If I should get up in the middle of the night with a crave

There is a picture of a big fat pig on the microwave

I don’t know if this diet and exercise will my life prolong

But the Doc said I’ll be fighting McGregor I’ll be so strong

No Home Comfort © Tony Fallon010618

No Home Comfort © Tony Fallon010618

I’m sixty seven and I need a loan

I have no house I can call my ownN

We used to rent then that came to an end

When the wife ran off with my best friend

Well I do miss him he was a decent bloke

I could borrow from him when ever I was broke

I have an old trailer below in Leeds

It has no door and it’s covered in weeds

Even if it had a door I could not survive

Thousands of wasps are dead there in a hive

I don’t think they would on their own migrate

And they would cost a fortune to fumigate

I don’t know who went and stole my door

If I find the fecker I’ll even up the score

The ten acres it sits on for building is prime

But selling it in January is not the correct time

I asked the banker could I use the land for security

He said he’d like if I was showing more maturity

I need a small house or a big mobile home

I saw a nice one in Cairo over on Jerome

But I have no cash or bonds or stocks

Right now I’m sleeping in a cardboard box

On a deserted farm I’ve taken over a shed

I wish the farmhouse had a dry warm bed

This morning to win on scratch offs I had a plan

$150 in losers is now in the garbage can

I hope tonight the weather starts thawing

And I win some money in the lottery drawing.

No COMFORT OF HOME for me this season

Despite best wishes at Rhyme without Reason.

#6 Jan06.

The wrong one© Tony Fallon101317

The wrong one© Tony Fallon101317

There are very few things in life that I have been denied

There are very few things in life that I can’t take in stride

I don’t remember everything especially relationship that were brief

The kind that when they are over you just feel a load of relief

I don’t know why I thought of her as she was not my cup of tea

And I was so relieved when she dumped me and set me free

I don’t remember her name but I remember her cranky face

If I could remember where we met I’d stay away from that place

She said everything she said and did was really smart

Everything I said and did had to be torn apart  

I never did anything right I was always making mistakes

She was never healthy she always had pains and aches

She never could stop talking she was impossible to interrupt

And our relationship had an ending that was quite abrupt

I told her one day in the mall to stop talking so bloody loud

And she made a holy show of herself in front of the crowd

I don’t know how the heck our relationship ever started

But it was set in stone that we would soon be parted

I find it unbelievable that couples like us wind up in bed

But horror of horrors sometimes couples like us get wed

So think before you leap bad behavior you should not condone

Companionship is not the answer if you are better off alone

The Sleeper© Tony Fallon 72117

The Sleeper© Tony Fallon 72117

I was on my daily run when the rain came pouring down

I found the only bus shelter on that side of our town

One pane of glass was missing the others full of signs

Very vulgar sayings and very demeaning designs

I wondered who displayed his anger on such a public stage

I wonder what woman wounded him to cause so much rage

I would not like to meet someone with such hateful passion

Would he one day be on page one as a local assassin?

Those were the thoughts in my mind as I slowly nodded off

It seemed like only seconds when I was awakened by a cough

I was in the middle of a dream of being tied up with cord

And this madman hacking me with this monstrous sword

I jumped up from the seat and started yelling and screaming

I felt like a fool when I realized that I was only dreaming.

I looked around and there was no more rain or showers

It was already getting dark I must have slept for hours

The police woman ten feet away hoped that I was rested

In the back seat of her car was a man she had just arrested

He was a local man who had grown up loud and mean

He was taking pictures of me when she arrived on the scene

That he had other plans for me in her mind there was no doubt

The tools in the bag he was carrying were not those of a boy scout

If she hadn’t come on the scene she knew what he would have done

And the next day it would have been my picture was on page one.

Roscommon Verses You Know Who.(C) 061717Tony Fallon

Roscommon Verses You Know Who.(C) 061717Tony Fallon

We are going back to Galway to try out new techniques
I’m not sure of the date but I think it’s in three weeks

The Rossies must be starting out as massive underdogs

For this is not the Leitrim or Sligo Team in the other togs

We must remember other days in Castlebar and Hyde

And bring the Connaught Cup across the Suck with pride

Remember Murray, O’Malley and Early as it gets underway

And sink the Galway ship into Galway Bay

The starting team must be the finest from all County clubs
With no stars on the bench to be used late as super subs.
They must be in from the beginning with heart and soul
And show the this Galway fifteen who is in control
If we show up that weekend and play in only first gear
Sam Maguire will not be in The Square any time this year
The plan from the start must be to have mid field control
And get the ball into the forwards so they can get a goal.
If Murthagh takes the frees points he should be getting,
Let the goalie stay back to take care of the netting
Catch and kick you need to do some or do you need classes
Maybe we’d see more scores instead of wayward passes
There will be people with crossed fingers back in Castlerea
Boyle , Elphin and Strokestown and Knockcroghery.
There is only one consolation if the truth be told
If we do lose there will be another game for blue and gold.
If that should happen many Rossies will feel dejected
But, after the League great things are not expected

But I have a funny feeling an upset is in the cards

From thousands of miles away I’m sending best regards.