Complicated © Tony Fallon 1/.18/2017

Complicated © Tony Fallon 1/.18/2017

The first day I met you I was elated
With you, I was totally infatuated
Maybe even captivated
You sounded like you were so educated
A woman of the world and liberated
You were the kind of person I had never dated
You were the kind of person for whom I had waited

I knew a friendship had to be cultivated
Because of all the smart people with which you were affiliated
You would never be intimidated
Or manipulated
By people who were intoxicated

I asked if you were single and you stated
You were in a relationship that was complicated
I wondered how this word could be translated
I felt like a bomb in my brain just detonated
And my blood pressure was suddenly elevated
My ego was now definitely deflated
All my hopes and dreams had evaporated
And I also was a little bit humiliated
Because this was not the answer I had anticipated

I asked if that meant you were impregnated
And that every morning you would be nauseated
You said my worry was slightly exaggerated
You said your husband was old and outdated
No way modern at all even antiquated
You said you had two single beds that were separated
And for years now things had not been consummated

There was no chance your home would be more populated

You said this rich old man you really hated
To which your parents had insisted you be mated
You wished for true love you had waited
This in no uncertain words you stated

When I asked if you’d elope with me you became very animated
And said yes you would if you got properly compensated

You also told me you had calculated
How much time you’d get if you used a knife that was serrated
Since the gun you had intended to use was confiscated

Thinking of the gun and knife I realized I could be perforated
And In my own blood become saturated
And I could wind up assassinated
or exterminated
And by a jury of men, she would probably be exonerated

You said by a pre nup you were so manipulated
Which your husband had very carefully dictated
If you divorced him the will would be invalidated
And you’d be left with a little check for twenty-five thousand three hundred and forty-five dollars which you couldn’t cash anywhere in New York or Boston or Chicago or Miami until three weeks after the divorce became final and that was all because the check would be postdated