You accuse me of having a cold heart
I've been counting the day’s we’ve been apart
You said I’ve been cold to you for a while
How long has it been since I saw your smile
You said I grow more distant every day
You said you feel lonely and all alone
It’s hard to keep a romance alive with a phone
You are not happy with messages on the computer
You should come home oftener and be a commuter
You say I’ve lost interest I don’t even flirt
Stop sending me selfies of you with no skirt
You say when you call the phone is always busy
I’m probably talking to your best friend Lizzie
I never realized Lizzie was so sweet and kind
She’s well educated and she has a brilliant mind
She said if she found the right man she’d settle down
But there are so few eligible bachelors in this little town
She calls me every Sunday night on my radio shows
And she told me last night she wrote a bit about me in prose
She loves my poetry and had a great sense of humor
They say she has her eye on someone it’s just a rumor
So now you are not coming for Christmas and its no big deal
Lizzie’s mother said she’ll gladly cook me a holiday meal
You say you are coming home to throw her in the ditch
That she’s no friend of yours, she’s a conniving bitch.
I’m amazed at this sudden hostility Miss Peggy O’Connor
Lizzy said at her wedding she wants you as Maid of Honor.
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