Daisy the Cat © Tony Fallon072718
I
have a big fat cat real big and fat and lazy
A stray one day she arrived her name tag said Daisy
There was barely an introduction and in she moved
I thought by having a cat my life would be improved
I put an ad in the paper but she did not get claimed
The girlfriend said throw her out but I would be ashamed
She was already trained how to use kitty litter
It needs to be emptied often the odor is quite bitter
At first she was obedient and would come trottin
Now she ignores me totally and just treats me rotten
When she's awake she's always watching my canary
Gallons of milk disappear I'd need to own a dairy
Regular milk is good for most cats even for a calf
She will not drink regular milk she wants half and half
An amazing amount of food she daily devours
Not one day is she ever awake more than two hours
When she decides to move from the sofa she leaves hairs
I have a two story house she has never been upstairs
Yet when I'm asleep I am certain she goes prowling
One time I woke to hear the German shepherd growling
The dog stays in the basement in case we are raided
To stop the cat the basement door is now barricaded
Between the dog and I there's no doubt who is master
With the cat and me it's different a total disaster
You know the dog will wag his tail and give you the paw
I have to wear leather gloves she once gave me the claw
The vet told me Monday every cat has feelings and moods
And that I should be adding vitamins to her solid foods
He also said if she's left alone she can get depressed
I think the big fat one by Mrs Lucifer is possessed
If I ever have visitors she starts growling and hissing
Goes behind the sofa and in anger starts pissing
She is out of control this is no way to behave
Mrs Lucifer or me is headed for a early grave
Between my girl friend and me there is a big divide
She will not move back again if the cat is still inside
I can't afford to let her out she might start breeding
Then there would be more mouths I would have to be feeding
I can't comprehend why people think cats are adorable
Since Daisy moved in here my life has been deplorable
A stray one day she arrived her name tag said Daisy
There was barely an introduction and in she moved
I thought by having a cat my life would be improved
I put an ad in the paper but she did not get claimed
The girlfriend said throw her out but I would be ashamed
She was already trained how to use kitty litter
It needs to be emptied often the odor is quite bitter
At first she was obedient and would come trottin
Now she ignores me totally and just treats me rotten
When she's awake she's always watching my canary
Gallons of milk disappear I'd need to own a dairy
Regular milk is good for most cats even for a calf
She will not drink regular milk she wants half and half
An amazing amount of food she daily devours
Not one day is she ever awake more than two hours
When she decides to move from the sofa she leaves hairs
I have a two story house she has never been upstairs
Yet when I'm asleep I am certain she goes prowling
One time I woke to hear the German shepherd growling
The dog stays in the basement in case we are raided
To stop the cat the basement door is now barricaded
Between the dog and I there's no doubt who is master
With the cat and me it's different a total disaster
You know the dog will wag his tail and give you the paw
I have to wear leather gloves she once gave me the claw
The vet told me Monday every cat has feelings and moods
And that I should be adding vitamins to her solid foods
He also said if she's left alone she can get depressed
I think the big fat one by Mrs Lucifer is possessed
If I ever have visitors she starts growling and hissing
Goes behind the sofa and in anger starts pissing
She is out of control this is no way to behave
Mrs Lucifer or me is headed for a early grave
Between my girl friend and me there is a big divide
She will not move back again if the cat is still inside
I can't afford to let her out she might start breeding
Then there would be more mouths I would have to be feeding
I can't comprehend why people think cats are adorable
Since Daisy moved in here my life has been deplorable
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