John © Tony Fallon081818
I met John one day in January he was happy as Larry
When I asked why he was he said he was going to remarry
Now here was an unlucky man who was not on a winning streak
He had buried four wives already the most recent last week
I was going to suggest he wait but thought that might not be polite
Besides I think he'd been drinking he was almost as high as a kite
He said there would be no wedding it would be an eloping event
And they would have to start preparing because soon it would be Lent
Picking up my courage I said I think that's a lot of balderdash
Why don't you wait until Easter and have a real old Irish bash
But John was not extravagant in fact he was tight and thrifty
He owned half the village already and he still had not reached fifty
He always fancied lonely widows who came with a farm of land
And I and others were assuming he was planning to expand
If a big fancy wedding cost him money he would be in despair
So it was better to elope than to pay for a costly affair
Things took a course and all were set for eloping four weeks later
He was bragging to everyone about her farm and excavator
I'm sure the priest on standby up in Galway was in for a surprise
I'm sure he was thinking double he might also have to baptize
Well as you know yourself the best laid plans can sometimes go astray
To get the marriage license didn't he wait until the very last day
When he got to the front they said his wife's death cert had not been compiled
He'd be charged with bigamy if he wed before the papers were filed
That meant they would have to kill all plans of a small wedding or eloping
Within two weeks the widow found another man I swear I'm not joking
Let this be a lesson about taking care of any important project
Or like John lose a fine farm and widow because now he is really fecked
I met John one day in January he was happy as Larry
When I asked why he was he said he was going to remarry
Now here was an unlucky man who was not on a winning streak
He had buried four wives already the most recent last week
I was going to suggest he wait but thought that might not be polite
Besides I think he'd been drinking he was almost as high as a kite
He said there would be no wedding it would be an eloping event
And they would have to start preparing because soon it would be Lent
Picking up my courage I said I think that's a lot of balderdash
Why don't you wait until Easter and have a real old Irish bash
But John was not extravagant in fact he was tight and thrifty
He owned half the village already and he still had not reached fifty
He always fancied lonely widows who came with a farm of land
And I and others were assuming he was planning to expand
If a big fancy wedding cost him money he would be in despair
So it was better to elope than to pay for a costly affair
Things took a course and all were set for eloping four weeks later
He was bragging to everyone about her farm and excavator
I'm sure the priest on standby up in Galway was in for a surprise
I'm sure he was thinking double he might also have to baptize
Well as you know yourself the best laid plans can sometimes go astray
To get the marriage license didn't he wait until the very last day
When he got to the front they said his wife's death cert had not been compiled
He'd be charged with bigamy if he wed before the papers were filed
That meant they would have to kill all plans of a small wedding or eloping
Within two weeks the widow found another man I swear I'm not joking
Let this be a lesson about taking care of any important project
Or like John lose a fine farm and widow because now he is really fecked
No comments:
Post a Comment