Our Pet Peeves© Tony Fallon 042318
The subject this week is like opening a can of worms
The one thing I’ll probably die of is an attack of germs
You are given this one opportunity to bitch and complain
Where we can talk about neurotic thoughts in our brain
I have so many pet hates I don’t know where to begin
I don’t like those little potatoes served with the skin
I don’t like fried onions they have a kind of enzymes
They are also like oranges no other word that rhymes
If they sit next to my cinnamon bagel I will get the scent
I will eat my bagel after I air it but I will not be content
What was God thinking of when he created green beans
He must have had another off day with most other greens
The only vegetable we both like is the humble lettuce
We don’t like cabbage or sprouts we don’t let that upset us
Did you notice when you’re driving on long winter nights
The cars approaching have extremely bright lights
And there’s always another idiot in your rear view mirror
No matter how fast you go he’s always getting nearer
Old people bother me who leave on the left indicator
Then never get over forty miles a real road hog dictator
I often notice in the supermarket I pick the wrong line
One cashier is as slow as molasses and it always is mine
It bothers me no end the ill use of a handicap parking spot
If I had any power I have that person taken out and shot
When I lived in New York I couldn’t find parking in my block
If I should come home in the evening after six o’clock
I hate the cold in December and the heat in July
I don’t like mosquitoes and I hate the fruit fly
I hate to see mothers being bullied by little brats
And I am allergic to almost every kind of cats
I often feel ill at ease at public petting and kissing
But what’s the worst of all is men publicly hissing
To forget those irritable situations should be our goal
Because those irritable situations are beyond our control
The one thing I’ll probably die of is an attack of germs
You are given this one opportunity to bitch and complain
Where we can talk about neurotic thoughts in our brain
I have so many pet hates I don’t know where to begin
I don’t like those little potatoes served with the skin
I don’t like fried onions they have a kind of enzymes
They are also like oranges no other word that rhymes
If they sit next to my cinnamon bagel I will get the scent
I will eat my bagel after I air it but I will not be content
What was God thinking of when he created green beans
He must have had another off day with most other greens
The only vegetable we both like is the humble lettuce
We don’t like cabbage or sprouts we don’t let that upset us
Did you notice when you’re driving on long winter nights
The cars approaching have extremely bright lights
And there’s always another idiot in your rear view mirror
No matter how fast you go he’s always getting nearer
Old people bother me who leave on the left indicator
Then never get over forty miles a real road hog dictator
I often notice in the supermarket I pick the wrong line
One cashier is as slow as molasses and it always is mine
It bothers me no end the ill use of a handicap parking spot
If I had any power I have that person taken out and shot
When I lived in New York I couldn’t find parking in my block
If I should come home in the evening after six o’clock
I hate the cold in December and the heat in July
I don’t like mosquitoes and I hate the fruit fly
I hate to see mothers being bullied by little brats
And I am allergic to almost every kind of cats
I often feel ill at ease at public petting and kissing
But what’s the worst of all is men publicly hissing
To forget those irritable situations should be our goal
Because those irritable situations are beyond our control
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