The other Westmeath Bachelor © Tony
Fallon.Jan 2017?
left Westmeath in Ireland in nineteen
eighty-three
And headed for Albany in New York far across the sea
My uncle’s wife seemed nice enough her name was Sheree
And she was industrious and always was as a busy as a bee
My uncle was a contrary man and we often did not agree
I hardly stayed long enough there to have a dozen cups of tea
I told him that I thought he was the black sheep of the family
And the next time I saw him I’d have a Bachelor’s degree.
Of course, that was more bravado with little hope of reality
I wished I was home in Athlone with my girlfriend Marie
So from the suburbs of Albany I did rather quickly flee
I hitchhiked to East Durham and got a job cleaning up debris
The owner asked me if I could paint as he was a retiree
And he and his wife would soon be celebrating their jubilee
On salary and conditions, he and I quickly did agree
My bed would be in the cottage beside the big oak tree
Things were going far better than I could ever foresee
And then I met their only daughter a recent divorcee
Peggy Lee was four years older childless and carefree
She told me if I took care of her she’d take good care of me
There were no other men around so work she could guarantee
If I taught her how to drive a car and she became a licensee
The lessons went very well until she put her hand on my knee
And told me brazenly that to my abode she had a spare key
I replied that I thought this was not the time to be smoochy
This wasn’t a Volkswagen she was driving it was a big Humvee
She said the only thing she didn’t like was my hair and goatee
And if I’d shave it all off she’d bring a fine bottle of Chablis
I went to Dominick the barber in Cairo and gladly paid his fee
And when I looked in the mirror I had to admit I did look sexy.
The daily chores were easy but at night I was a detainee
And very often in the morning I lacked my normal energy
So to supplement the food I ate I was on vitamin A B and C
I never cared for the kind of crap you see on American TV
I did a bit of radio and loved the Country Music I played on my CD
Last year on vacation she took me out to Nashville Tennessee
In the winter we went to Vaile in Colorado where I learned to ski
And on our honeymoon, she said it would have to be in Hawaii
I said “wait a minute now there is the question of my Marie
Over there in the town of Athlone in Ireland far across the sea”
She said she was a modern girl she was not against bigamy
Two to a bed was fine but she wouldn’t mind if it was three.
I think news like that in Athlone could cause wails like a banshee
That would be breaking one commandment maybe two or three
She also told me for my birthday I would get a brand new ATV
With everything paid in full plus taxes even the registration fee
She said she was planning her parent’s party she had one inquiry
Would I supply the entertainment with my DJ stuff and be the MC
I couldn’t very well refuse this simple request and spoil her family spree
And let down my little kootshie woochie my little Peggy Lee
And headed for Albany in New York far across the sea
My uncle’s wife seemed nice enough her name was Sheree
And she was industrious and always was as a busy as a bee
My uncle was a contrary man and we often did not agree
I hardly stayed long enough there to have a dozen cups of tea
I told him that I thought he was the black sheep of the family
And the next time I saw him I’d have a Bachelor’s degree.
Of course, that was more bravado with little hope of reality
I wished I was home in Athlone with my girlfriend Marie
So from the suburbs of Albany I did rather quickly flee
I hitchhiked to East Durham and got a job cleaning up debris
The owner asked me if I could paint as he was a retiree
And he and his wife would soon be celebrating their jubilee
On salary and conditions, he and I quickly did agree
My bed would be in the cottage beside the big oak tree
Things were going far better than I could ever foresee
And then I met their only daughter a recent divorcee
Peggy Lee was four years older childless and carefree
She told me if I took care of her she’d take good care of me
There were no other men around so work she could guarantee
If I taught her how to drive a car and she became a licensee
The lessons went very well until she put her hand on my knee
And told me brazenly that to my abode she had a spare key
I replied that I thought this was not the time to be smoochy
This wasn’t a Volkswagen she was driving it was a big Humvee
She said the only thing she didn’t like was my hair and goatee
And if I’d shave it all off she’d bring a fine bottle of Chablis
I went to Dominick the barber in Cairo and gladly paid his fee
And when I looked in the mirror I had to admit I did look sexy.
The daily chores were easy but at night I was a detainee
And very often in the morning I lacked my normal energy
So to supplement the food I ate I was on vitamin A B and C
I never cared for the kind of crap you see on American TV
I did a bit of radio and loved the Country Music I played on my CD
Last year on vacation she took me out to Nashville Tennessee
In the winter we went to Vaile in Colorado where I learned to ski
And on our honeymoon, she said it would have to be in Hawaii
I said “wait a minute now there is the question of my Marie
Over there in the town of Athlone in Ireland far across the sea”
She said she was a modern girl she was not against bigamy
Two to a bed was fine but she wouldn’t mind if it was three.
I think news like that in Athlone could cause wails like a banshee
That would be breaking one commandment maybe two or three
She also told me for my birthday I would get a brand new ATV
With everything paid in full plus taxes even the registration fee
She said she was planning her parent’s party she had one inquiry
Would I supply the entertainment with my DJ stuff and be the MC
I couldn’t very well refuse this simple request and spoil her family spree
And let down my little kootshie woochie my little Peggy Lee
So I even agreed to sing a song and
recite some poetry
Well the party was a blast and they danced and sang without a fight
And I was being introduced to one and all as being Mister Right
The very next evening she went shopping and left me home alone
So I decided them and there to call my other love over in Athlone.
When the phone rang her mother answered "Mrs. Mary McGee"
And I can tell you the questions were flying I got the third degree
She said she didn’t like me she liked John Delaney aka Johnny D
Who owns a fine farm in Galway and a pub in the town of Loughrea
I asked her about her daughter, she said she’s visiting Knockcroghery
After that, she’s going to visit her uncles and aunts below in Castlerea.
So then and there I decided to fly to Athlone on the banks of Lough Ree
I never thought of all I was leaving behind until I passed through Kilkee
I took a sudden notion to go to Kerry and I met my Marie in Tralee
And we got married like Dermot Henry did in the village of Asdee.
Well the party was a blast and they danced and sang without a fight
And I was being introduced to one and all as being Mister Right
The very next evening she went shopping and left me home alone
So I decided them and there to call my other love over in Athlone.
When the phone rang her mother answered "Mrs. Mary McGee"
And I can tell you the questions were flying I got the third degree
She said she didn’t like me she liked John Delaney aka Johnny D
Who owns a fine farm in Galway and a pub in the town of Loughrea
I asked her about her daughter, she said she’s visiting Knockcroghery
After that, she’s going to visit her uncles and aunts below in Castlerea.
So then and there I decided to fly to Athlone on the banks of Lough Ree
I never thought of all I was leaving behind until I passed through Kilkee
I took a sudden notion to go to Kerry and I met my Marie in Tralee
And we got married like Dermot Henry did in the village of Asdee.
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